


a talent for self-destruction

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Catharsis, Character Study, Drabble-esque, Gen, Not Beta Read, Pre-Canon, Self-Acceptance, Self-Dehumanization, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 04:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17953922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ben doesn’t think of himself as a person, not really.





	a talent for self-destruction

Ben doesn’t think of himself as a person, not really.

His body is a cage for a creature with unquenchable bloodthirst. His mind is a tool for keeping his body in the centre of the battlefield so the monster can be let loose. He was born for something else, and for years of his life, he’s sure he’ll die for something else.

As he grows up, and his family fractures around him, he gets angrier and angrier.

He can’t afford to lose control. 

All his anger has nowhere to go.

He drags nails down his arms, feeling the pain like an absolution for all his flaws. When he draws blood, the rich humanity of it seems like it doesn’t belong to him. As he patches himself up, he wonders if, one day, his wounds will split open and the beast will emerge.

In his dreams, he imagines letting loose on Dad, on this house, even sometimes on his siblings.

Sometimes, it would feel so  _ good _ to stop keeping himself in check. Maybe this was his destiny all along; the vessel becoming what he contains.

_ No. _ He won’t allow it.

One quiet morning, before Dad wakes up, Ben writes a note to each of his siblings, even Five, and then he steals Dad’s second-favourite car. He drives for hours, until there isn’t a living thing in sight, and then he drives further still.

Leaving the car by the side of the road, he walks into the middle of nowhere.

He turns his face to the warm summer sun, and breathes in.

Ben and Klaus are very different in so many ways, but in the end, a talent for self-destruction is something that they share.


End file.
